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Our league opponents did not show up. But did we sit there and grumble, issuing curses and fatwas on them? You bet we did. The weather was great, so we assembled every willing cricketer in the village for a Gentlemen vs Players 20-20 match. Even the Hon Sec had a go – though as he walked to the wicket, all the dogs out on their walkies stared, rubbed their eyes with astonishment and the pavilion clock stopped. Details of his innings (seven balls faced, one run scored) will be sent to Wisden for exhaustive statistical analysis.